June 1998: Late Night TV
(or How I Learned That The Mac is Back!)
by Scott Rose, President of ScottWorld
(Note: Much of this editorial is outdated, but due to popular demand, we have left it here for entertainment purposes.)
As my schedule continues to get busier, my mindless television viewing schedule keeps getting pushed later and later into the night. At first, it was Dharma and Greg at 8:30pm. Then it was Ally McBeal at 9:00pm. But now that I often don't get to relax until 10:30pm these days, I must admit that I have fallen prey to the 11:00pm Jerry Springer Show.
For the life of me, I can't figure out what is more appealing about Jerry Springer: the fact that you can watch a poor, innocent guy get dumped on national television by his girlfriend of 5 years, or the fact that 2 seconds after the realization settles in, this same guy jumps up and hurls a chair at the son-of-a-bitch who's now sleeping with his woman. It's truly must-see TV.
Besides demonstrating that we're a completely sick society, The Jerry Springer Show really illustrates 2 things extremely well. Number one, the public loves to eagerly watch the painful demise of other people before their very eyes. And number two, the public loves it even more when the victim suddenly springs to his feet and starts fighting back for everything he's worth.
For years now, Apple Computer has been the victim, painfully withering away in front of the press, its shareholders, and especially the public. Critics of Apple have been watching from the sidelines, declaring with glee at every turn that "Apple is Dead," as if they would win some multi-million dollar bet the day that Apple declared bankruptcy. And for many of us Apple supporters, it may have felt like the company was history at times.
But how could this great American icon, the creator of the personal computer, possibly die? Apple represents everything innovative that has ever happened to computers in the last 20 years. If you can find anything positive about Microsoft Windows (and believe me, there's not much), I guarantee you that it was first created at Apple. Yet Apple amazingly continued to deteriorate in front of our unbelieving eyes, because for every innovative "10-cent" idea that Apple gave birth to, it lacked 10 dollars in business sense.
The very same people who laughed and ridiculed Apple when it was down quickly became the people who now can't stop talking about "Apple's Amazing Comeback!" The press, who previously wouldn't give Apple a break if they had paid for one, now can't stop writing story after story about the "Incredible Turnaround At Apple!" Steve Jobs and Apple's new Board of Directors have completely turned around Apple Computer by simplifying the company's sales channels, streamlining its product line, and reinvigorating its marketing division. For the first time in years, Apple has begun innovating at a frenzied pace, and the excitement surrounding Apple Computer is contagious!
Yet this time around, Apple has gained some business sense. And it is now ready to battle the 21st century with its own fresh spin on computing... light years ahead of the competition.
Also in the last 6 months, Apple introduced its wildly successful online Apple Store (open 24-hours-a-day), where you can custom-build your own Macs and PowerBooks from scratch! Adding to its already long list of design excellence awards, the Apple Store has been awarded two of advertising's most coveted honors: the Gold Clio for the Best World Wide Web Site and the Gold Pencil for the Best Direct Marketing/Internet Commerce Site.
At the Apple Store, you can pick and choose the features you want in your new Mac, and the Apple Store will recalculate exactly how much your machine will cost. Leave out the extra features you don't need, load up on the essentials you do need, and eventually you'll come up with your dream Mac. I just purchased my new G3 through the Apple Store, and it was a thrill to mix-and-match all the variables of my new system. The Apple Store is now bringing in a record 10 million visitors per day to Apple's Web Site, and the Apple Store just broke another sales record in May by selling $2.8 million dollars worth of new Macs in just one day! All of this has helped Apple earn two back-to-back profitable quarters for the first time in 2 years, with no signs of slowing down!
The iMac glows bright blue and looks like something from another planet. "A good planet," says Steve Jobs. "One with better designers." The iMac harks back to the introduction of the original Mac in 1984, which was touted as the "computer for the rest of us." The iMac is now the "computer for the rest of us... in the 90's." But unlike the original Mac which was expensive, had little software and had limited expandability, the iMac is ultra-affordable, has tons of software available for it, and is designed with enough expansion to take it well into the next century.
The iMac is specifically designed with first-time computer users in mind. It's hard to believe, but over 50% of the country still does not own a computer. The iMac is the first computer to make computing affordable and easy for everybody. First-time users, finally realizing that all those little www's everywhere are here for good, will now be able to get on the Internet with the Mac's legendary ease-of-use -- for an exceptional price. Expect the iMac to become Apple's best-selling consumer product ever, and expect Apple's market share and profits to rise even higher!
For the rare piece of PC software that's not available on the Mac, these newly-awakened companies simply use the program Virtual PC on their Macs. Virtual PC lets you run all Windows 95, Windows 3.1, and DOS software right on your Power Mac! There is no Pentium II computer in the world that can even come close to running Mac software. Right now, I'm running both Windows 95 and the Mac side-by-side on my computer screen. But don't worry -- Windows 95 is just there because I needed a good laugh this morning.
There's even more to look forward to at Apple. By the fall of this year, Apple is introducing system 8.5, a sparkling update to system 8 that adds more speed, more stability, and more features to your Mac, as well as integrating the Internet even more seamlessly into your desktop environment.
And in the fall of 1999, Apple is releasing Mac OS X (ten), a new advanced version of the Mac operating system that will make the Mac OS the speediest and most advanced operating system in the entire world. Believe me on this one, Mac OS X is the most revolutionary piece of software to ever come out of Apple since 1984, and it will forever change your productivity level on your Mac. You definitely won't want to miss this operating system upgrade! Mac OS X is specially optimized for the new G3 processor, so get your G3's now and you can be the first on your block to use OS X!
In case you're wondering, all of your Macs are completely 2000-year compliant, and they have been since their genesis in 1984. Interestingly enough, however, current Macs will have trouble in the year 29,940 -- keep this in mind if your business plans extend 28,000 years or so.
And if you happen to know anyone still using a Windows machine, let them know that the Mac is back!
After all, Jerry Springer would be proud.
ScottWorld is the leading Certified FileMaker Developer in Austin & Los Angeles.